Sensuality: Enhance your life inside and outside the bedroom

People tend to get confused about the difference between sensuality and sexuality. Being “sensual” and being “sexual” are not the same thing. We’ve been sensual beings since we were infants and began interacting with the world around us! While sensuality can definitely be used to enhance sexual pleasure, you can also be sensual in a very neutral and non-sexual way. 


Sensuality is about connecting to our bodies and finding gratification through our senses (smell, sight, sound, taste and touch). When you are mindful of what gives you physical pleasure through your senses, you can draw more joy from life and feel more deeply. Sensuality extends the practice of self love and self care beyond the bedroom. 


How can you tune into your sensuality? First off, by being aware of what “turns on” your senses. Once you are aware, you can be mindful of noticing moments when they are activated so that you can slow down and savour them more. You can also be more intentional with creating those moments in your life and self-stimulating yourself. 


I have a list of my favourite things in each sense category that I keep pinned on my fridge. It helps remind and encourage me to make choices that attract more sensual pleasure into my life everyday. Here are some examples from my list:

Sight: bright stars in the sky, watching people dance, sunsets and sunrises, a still and foggy lake on a cool morning.

Sound: waves crashing into the shoreline, bustling coffee shops, birds chirping in the morning, bugs clicking in the night, live jazz music.

Smell: fresh ground coffee, smokey campfires, flowers (freesias in particular), bright citrus scents, the salty ocean air, warm spices being cooked.

Taste: spicy hot chocolate, peppery olive oil that gives you that back throat tingle, freshly baked soft bread

Touch: someone’s soft skin against mine, warm beach sand between my toes, hot summer sun on my bare skin, plant leaves rubbed between your fingers, head on a silk pillow.


I recommend that you make your own list and get specific. Are there certain senses that you are more easily able to produce examples for and others that were more challenging? Maybe you’re not a very tactile person but you’re highly activated by sounds. That’s okay! That’s helpful information to better direct your focus.

How can you use sensuality to enhance your sexual pleasure? This is where you can be creative! Think of sexy scenarios that draw in elements of your favourite senses. I love to fantasize about a backwoods adventure with a lover under the stars, drinking spicy hot chocolate by a campfire or a sexy beach encounter with a stranger, rolling around in the sand, inhaling the ocean air and listening to waves in the background. Guess what? You can even play these fantasies out!


There are also small ways to incorporate your sensuality into more everyday sex experiences. Personally, I’ve recently swapped out my cotton pillowcases for silk ones which are definitely more enjoyable to bury my face into during sex. I also love to use massage oils as part of foreplay or aftercare. To feed my fondness for citrus scents, I use ones with beautiful orange, lemon or grapefruit notes.

I hope this encourages you to explore living a more sensual lifestyle. It’s a wonderful way to honour your body and elevate everyday menial activities that will enhance the quality of your life overall!


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