What is Temperature Play? A Beginners Guide to Enhancing Sensation, Intimacy and Creativity in the Bedroom

Have you ever fantasized about the anticipation and delight of having warm wax dripped along your body? Or placing an ice cube in your mouth and letting it melt over your lover's body? Experimenting with heightening the senses through heat or cold is an erotic practice called temperature play. Our skin is full of temperature receptors that tell us when something is hot or cold. With temperature play, you provoke arousal by teasing the skin's neuroreceptors by combing hot and cold sensations. Temperature play is an enjoyable way to experiment with enhancing sensation, intimacy, and creativity in the bedroom.


 What are the benefits of temperature play?

Temperature play is a beautiful way for lovers to explore each other's bodies, experiment with new sensations, and prolong foreplay or edging. It is also a healthy practice for staying connected and grounded because temperature play requires that you remain present and communicative with your sexual partner. In addition, experimenting with new ways to give and receive pleasure without touching the genitals expands your pleasure practice and is super sexy.

Although temperature play might seem intimidating, it is an accessible form of erotic play. 

How Do I Get started?

The first step is to talk to your partner(s) first. Temperature play is a prenegotiated and consensual use of hot and cold senses in your sexual activity for pleasure. Next, discuss what types of sensation you want to play with! Here are a few suggestions ;)

Tease Your Partner with Ice

Ice is one of the most accessible and affordable ways to engage in temperature play. Physiologically, cold constricts blood flow, which is essential to arousal, but playing with the contrast between cold and hot in a warm room fills the body with amazingly stimulating sensations.

Try this:  Place an ice cube in your mouth and let the water drip onto your partner. Let the water drip on different body parts like the neck, breast, chest, and inner thighs. You could even experiment with adding a blindfold!

Or this: Run your tongue back and forth over an ice cube; this itself can be incredibly sensual. Give your partner a little preview and showcase your tongue skills. The ice cube will have melted a bit; put what is left between your lips and kiss your partner. The contrast between your mouth's cool ice and warmth will flood your body with sensation.

Or Maybe this! If your partner has a vulva and you want to go down on them, you can place an ice cube on the roof of your mouth or under your tongue. You can do this on someone with a penis, but it might be trickier, so I'd recommend lubing up your hands and stroking the shaft while licking and sucking on the tip with an ice cube in your mouth.

Safety Tip: If you use ice on genitals, use lubricant, especially if the ice has just come out of the freezer. You don't want it getting stuck!


Wax Play

Wax play involves dripping candle wax on your partner's body or having them drip it onto you, or even dripping it on yourself. Wax play is a widespread practice in BDSM and Kink. Still, it is also common for people interested in more vanilla sex. It is a fun way to add and experiment with something new! Wax play involves candles and fire, so you must educate yourself on how to practice safely.

With wax play, you can experiment by pouring wax from various distances. The closer the wax is poured from the skin, the sharper the sting, whereas if you pour further away, the wax has more time to cool before hitting the skin. For some, the sensation of wax being dripped onto the back, breast, and shoulders is the best part of wax play. In contrast, others prefer the sensation of having wax slowly peeled off their bodies once it has hardened. Some people are all about having layer upon layer of wax dripped onto their body and being treated as a human canvas. While others want to include a blindfold and play with the element of surprise. There are no wrong ways as long as you play safely and consensually!

How do I play with Wax?

Wax is messy and can be painful (and I am not referring to the good kind of pain), so here are a few steps to prepare for successful wax play scene.

1. Prep your skin! Put a lotion or massage oil on your skin; the wax will come off easier and won't irritate your skin. Shaving beforehand can be helpful; that way the wax doesn't get tangled in your hair. Unless you're into that sort of thing, of course, :p

2. DO NOT USE ANY TYPE OF CANDLE. The type of candle you use is super important! Don't use just any candle lying around the house; often, these candles burn at high temperatures, and the additives will irritate your skin. Instead, try a massage candle or wax play candle. Massage candles are generally soy-based; once you light the candle, the wax will melt and can be used for massage. Hot Wax play candles are often paraffin and are designed for temperature play. They come in various colors and are one of our hottest sellers!

Doc Johnson Japanese Drip Candles


3. Next, clean your room! Seriously clear your play space from flammable materials and have a fire extinguisher or bucket of water close by. It may sound extreme, but if something happens, you're set.

4. Now, it's time to experiment with pain tolerance. Always test the wax on your wrist or hand to get a feeling for the temperature. Afterward, test it on the back of your partner's hand. If you both agree the temperature is bearable, continue testing on other areas of the body. This is where communication is essential!


Warming and Cooling Your Glass and Metal Toys

Glass and metal dildos feel luxurious! They are smooth and glide effortlessly over your skin. Because glass and metal are firm materials, they are ideal for those looking to experiment with g-region or prostate play (the g-region and p-spot respond very well to firm and rhythmic pressure). Another cool feature (pun intended!) of using glass and metal toys is experimenting with temperature play. Glass sex toys take longer to absorb temperature but retain cold or heat for more extended periods. The safest way to heat up or cool your glass dildos is to use a water bowl. Some people suggest putting them in the fridge, but you risk exposing your toy to bacteria. The same procedure goes for metal, the safest way to heat or cool stainless steel is by placing it in a hot or cold water bowl. Metal sex toys lose heat more quickly than glass which makes them best for fast temperature play, so consider swapping between hot and cold sensations. 

Crave Forte Glass Dildo

Wicked Tips: Buy glass sex toys made from high-quality borosilicate glass to withstand extreme temperature changes and shattering. Check if your metal toys are 100% stainless steel, especially if you have a nickel allergy!



Safety Practices

When you engage in kinky play, remember safety and consent come first. Here are some tips to keep in mind!

1. Establish a safe word; this allows you and your partner to alert and communicate with one another if things get overwhelming.

2. Consider the stoplight approach: think traffic lights. Green means go, yellow means slow down, and check-in,' and red means stop everything. The stoplight approach allows you to measure what's going on as your play. It's an excellent way to check in with your partner and ask, "Which color are you?"

3. Choose quality products! And again, do not use regular candles for wax play. Test the products. Having good knowledge and understanding of the sensations you are playing with is essential before bringing them into the bedroom

4. Communicate beforehand. Temperature play is a prenegotiated and consensual activity. Discuss boundaries with your partner(s) before engaging in temperature play.

5. Talk about the experience with your partner(s). It is essential to share what you did and didn't enjoy about the experience. Then you can incorporate the feedback into the next time!

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.