Read Chesty LaRue's honest and highly entertaining tips on how to get the most out of online dating. From dating app etiquette to knowing what you want out of those interactions, Chesty LaRue will make you laugh and nod in agreement in this fun blog piece.

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So, you want to buy a sex toy? Shopping for sex toys can be scary and our blogger Chesty LaRue hilariously goes through her own experiences of shopping for that special something while also giving first time buyers 5 easy steps to make your sexytime shopping experience everything and more you want it to be. 

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By: Lilith 

I suddenly yelled in exasperation: “do you even know how I destroy my clit?” This incredibly inappropriate yet hilarious outburst was during a conversation with a fellow female co-worker centered on unsatisfying oral by partners in the past. While I cannot speak for all women, nor should I, I can honestly say that I’ve encountered many women who hate how gentle and tentative bedfellows can be when giving oral. This being the complete opposite of how we women have treated our own clits, vulvas and vaginas.

Not to be crude but I have absolutely obliterated my clit while seeking just one more orgasm… Maybe two more. I know how tough my beaver is and the kind of beating it can take because I’ve been meaner to her then any person has gotten close to being. This is not to say that I don’t love my clit and treat her nicely, but on occasion, that bitch needs to be destroyed.

It may seem strange to have a woman talking about her “secret garden” like this but honestly why is it so strange? Knowing our bodies enough to know that it will recover from some tender abuse (consensually) and that I like it, is incredibly empowering because I set my own pace and it is entirely for my own pleasure. We seem obsessed with the frailty of not just the female gender but the soft, tenderness of the genitalia which marks us female according to medical science. When ignorant people say "don't be a pussy," they obviously have never thought of what kind of badass beating pussies can take and how amazingly tough those pink lips and love canal really can be. The saying should be: "be tough like a pussy". 

Whether the destruction is due to good old-fashion fingers, new toy exploration or the classic destroyer the Hitachi Magic Wand, needless to say, you don’t have to be gentle when confronted with my "rosebud". During my time working in a sex store, I have encountered many women who share the same sentiment about the frustrating sweet tenderness of tongue flicks. Note: if you lick ice-cream with more intensity and pressure than you do a woman, re-evaluate.

This is of course not to say that you can never be gentle, in fact it is often best to start gentle and work on everywhere but the clit to begin with. Yet when it comes time to show off your tornado tongue, please for the love of God, make use of the amazing muscles featured in the mouth. They are strong for a reason!

Communicate with your lady friend next time you plan on chowing down on some muff, ask if she likes it rougher. Listen to her when you’re munching for the cues on where to hit and even where not to go. This can be said for men as well! I’ve been told by many men that they like a little rough pressure as they also have gone full ham on themselves, on many occasions.

I cannot express this enough that every person is different and communication between partners is important to making sure everyone has an enjoyable and safe time. Don’t be afraid to suck, lick, even graze with your teeth your partner’s wiggly bits because we have done so much worse to ourselves at one point or another!

So next time you are ready to enjoy some lady taco, keep in mind that the kind of mean things you’ve done to your own meat package is actually fairly common and getting rough sometimes goes a long way towards groundbreaking orgasms rather than BoringVille.

 

Note: This blog is focused on the experiences of cis-women. Trans men and women have very different experiences in regards to sexuality, and how to appropriately perform certain sexual acts pre or post surgery. I am not writing about trans folks because it would be flat-out wrong to speak for them, that privilege is theirs alone. 

1. Vibration on sore muscles for massage. Of course vibration can be used for more than just sexual purposes but legendary toys like the Hitachi Magic Wand (or the Smart Wand by Lelo) has always been marketed as a "body" massaging tool rather than a sex toy and it is totally understandable. Used on the back, shoulders, legs or anywhere your muscles could use a deeper massage without needing another person to do it!

1. Silicone lube as hair care and thigh friction. Silicone lube has so many applications but some of the best are as pre-blow-drying hair care to make sure your hair is protected from the heat and as a lubricant for friction caused by rubbing thighs especially in the summer. You can even use silicone lube as a makeup primer! 

1. Cock rings as napkin holders. While it may seem ridiculous to use cock rings for your next dinner party they can be a great way of decorating your place-settings without getting too expensive. They are also fantastic because you can totally customize them and make it a craft party!

1. Nipple clamps for holding pictures, glasses or signs. Don't you just hate is when you have to hang something and that something requires two well gripping grabbers and you don't have anything for it, fear not! Use your nipple clamps! 

1. Suction cups for massage. Using larger suction cups and applying massage oil onto the skin can be used to give an awesome reverse massage where instead of pushing the skin and muscles downwards you can pull them upwards. 

1. Anal plugs as doorstoppers. Worried your door handle is going to damage your walls? Use an anal plug, you can get a variety of sizes that work for whatever situation you may have and they can be fairly inexpensive! 

1. Liberator furniture for yoga. Liberator is known for their fantastic sex furniture but why not use it for your next yoga session? They are machine washable so you don't have to worry about sweating on it and you can achieve that deeper back bend or really challenge your next downward dog.

1. Violet wand for pimple zapping and skin care. Popularly used within kink communities, the violet wand is also used in highend spas and beauty parlors to help dry out oily and pimple prone skin. Next time you have a zit forming, apply on and off for 5 minutes and your zit should dry up and go away without any damage to your skin. 

1. Wartenberg wheels for baking or crafts. Getting even holes without the tedious work of doing every single one yourself can be done with the Wartenberg wheel or pin-wheel. For baking and crafts! 

1. Arousal balm for pumping up your lips. While you can use these balms on your sexy wiggly bits, they can also be used as a lip balm and lip pumpers because they work by increasing blood flow to that area. Pucker up!

By: Lilith

As kink and BDSM become more mainstream and growing in popularity, sexstores are increasingly trying to meet the demand and thus there are so many different tools, toys and learning material to get you started on your kinky path. Where to start, what to get and how to use them become important questions for beginners and even those more advanced in their exploration. Here we have listed Wicked Wanda's top 8 kink kit essentials for those experimenting and exploring. Of course, it is highly debatable what are essential kink items and every kinkster will have a slightly different kit depending on the type of play they enjoy and so on. Experimentation is one of the best parts of kink so try out a couple of tools and toys and see what works.

Note: Kink and BDSM functions on a key rule: Safe, Sane. Consensual. If play ever breaks this rule then no longer is it kink and BDSM and often it will be considered illegal and dangerous. 

1. Blindfold: Blindfolds are a perfect way to start experimenting with kink for aesthetic and practical purposes. While a blindfold can be a great way to set a scene and get someone in the mode, it can also relieve pressure and nervousness for both partners. The submissive partner or the person being dominated becomes released from responsibility of what is happening. They are no longer in charge and can relax and submit to their partner's actions. There is a wonderful saying that there is "happiness in submission" and this is largely the appeal for submissives or slaves. The Dominant partner also becomes released from having to perform in some senses. Of course they are still instigating the play but say they drop a toy or stumble in their heels, the submissive cannot see this and therefore the Dominant also becomes released from their nervousness and can relax into the role without pressure. Of course the primary purpose of a blindfold is to block a person from seeing, which can sharpen other senses and sensations and they no longer know where the sensations may come from--heightening the thrill and surprise. All playing should be spoken about before engaging in play especially once the submissive partner becomes more immobilized, this is to ensure consent and a pleasurable fulfilling experience for all involved. 

 

2. Bondage Tape: When beginning to experiment with bondage, safety becomes extremely important. You can start your bondage exploration with many different types of toys and tools such as handcuffs, rope, leather cuffs and so forth but the safest and often most cost efficient tool is bondage tape. Many of the other tools often leave marks and require a certain level of training to use properly and safely with fun results, bondage tape however requires very little learning and can be quite versatile. This kind of tape is unique because it does not have adhesive but rather the material sticks to itself creating a nice firm hold without residue that your partner may be sensitive too. Another positive is that with enough force, your partner can break from the bondage tape if needed. Whether you want to do a simple wrist tie to a bed-frame or door, or hogtie someone, this tool is safe enough and versatile enough to handle your creativity. You can even use the tape as a gag or blindfold because it has no adhesive.

 

Note: Never wrap tape or any other kind of bondage material around the neck. This is very dangerous and can easily lead to serious injuries or death. If you want to experiment with breath play or withholding oxygen, do some serious research first and discuss with your partner in depth. Most kinksters and kink stores like Wicked Wanda's do not suggest any kind of breath play because of the level of danger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Feather Duster or Crop: When experimenting with different sensations, pain is not always the goal. In fact, many kinksters prefer very little pain in their play, instead focusing more on mind-games, role-playing or sensation play. A feather duster is a great way to experiment with sensitive spots without intimidating your partner or risking any kind of harm. You can explore your partner's body or your own and often pairing this with some bondage and sense-deprivation like blindfolds or gags can enhance the sensation of the feathers. Crops are fun as well if you want to lean more to domination or little to mild pain. The wonderful advantage of crops are that they are extensions of your hand and so you can guide and control your partner with the crop head and correct them if need be. This can be a very fun way to tease and do some role-playing without getting hardcore. Crops are easy to wield and often are not overly painful. Again playing with the sensation spectrum, crops allow for sensual exploration without much training or practice. 

Note: Even with little play like using a crop there are still areas of the body you should avoid hitting in case of injury and/or permanent damage. This includes head, neck, spine, stomach (kidneys and bladder don't like being hit at all), joints (shoulders, hips, elbows, ankles and knees). Many of these are common sense areas not to hit however it is best to clarify with your partner and ask if they have any sore spots or a bad arm for example. Remember that meaty areas like the butt, thighs, and back (across the shoulder-blades) are great places to hit depending on what your partner wants. Safe, Sane and Consensual always. 

 

 

4. Paddles: One of my personal favorites for kink play is a simple wooden paddle. There are many different kinds of paddles, made of different materials like leather, plastic, rubber, metal and plexi-glass but a classic is classic for a reason and wood rocks aesthetically and practically. For some, paddles have a wonderful sound upon impact that they love and crave, whereas others love the soft but firm impact itself. Generally used as a spanking tool due to its often non-flexible design, a paddle can make a dominant feel powerful and a submissive feel pleasurably helpless. As with any play, especially impact play, partners should discuss boundaries and what they are willing to try (soft-limits) and not (also known as hardlimits). Many who start spanking will use a flat hand for heighten control of where the impact lands and for the intimacy of skin on skin contact, others prefer to use a paddle so to not wear out their hands. Even for some, it is the threat of the paddle which brings excitement and tension into a scene, whether it is used or not. Of course, be careful where you hit and follow the guidelines above. Also do some research before you start leaving marks on people's body. 

Note: Most kinksters, whether they are doing impact play or experimenting with pain or bondage or not, will have a safe word that a submissive can use if the play becomes too hard or they are uncomfortable for any reason and want to stop. Some prefer using a colour system where green is good, yellow is nearing the edge and red is stop. Others prefer a word they would never use in play to signal the dominant to stop like pineapple or hedgehog. Make sure it is easy for both you and the dominant to remember and when the word or colour is used, this means to immediately stop. If your submissive cannot speak because of a gag or other reasons, make sure to provide another method to communicate with. A pair of keys is a great way to make noise signalling the dominant to stop when they are drop out of the submissive's hand. While hopefully the safeword is never needed, it is important to have this safety measure to ensure safe and fun play and to put all parties at ease. 

 

5. The Hitachi Magic Wand or other Vibes: An exciting part of kinky play is the tease and sexual gratification or even withholding an orgasm to further tease. This can be a kind of consensual torture to stimulate the submissive with vibrating toys or wandering hands yet not allow release or to dictate when release is allowed. Many kinksters love the Hitachi Magic Wand due to its power, durability and long-lasting life (Check out Lilith's review of the rechargeable HERE). Pick a favorite vibe and tease your submissive. This can be for submissives of any gender, the trick is to experiment with what gets an reaction. 

6. Rope: When exploring how creative your bondage arrangements can be, rope can often be considered essential for its extremely versatile applications and the beautiful visual appeal of it on the body. This is not as user-friendly as bondage tape because to use it properly and to its fullest capacity one should check out; rope classes, workshops and tutorials. There are dangers when playing with rope which include nerve-damage, suffocation, and bruising, so being safe and careful about how you use rope is important. Youtube has many fantastic videos to help teach you from the comforts of your home. There are also many different kinds of rope including silk, bamboo silk, hemp, cotton and Jute. All of them have different textures, strength and price tags. Often beginners start with silk or cotton ropes because they are inexpensive but they do start to fringe and breakdown over time quicker than others. Experiment with what texture and strength you need within your budget to see what works for you. There are so many different colours as well! 

7. Gags: There are many types of gags which you can play with, including the traditional ball gag, breathers (with holes for easier breathing), open gags, spider gags, and etc. There are also different sizes to best fit the submissive's mouth. Look for a gag with nice soft edges near the mouth so to make sure your submissive's mouth won't be cut or bruised by wearing the gag. As another form of sense- deprivation, gags block the submissive from speaking and thus makes them more helpless and the dominant more powerful and in control. They can also help to limit the amount of noise made if your neighbors are close by. Remember to give the submissive another way to communicate if they have reached their limit. 

 

Note: While it is often stressed that the submissive should have a safeword and be in control of the situation ending if they react their limit, many forget that dominants are people with limits as well. A dominant should also be able to stop play if it gets too intense or they feel uncomfortable without feeling ashamed or afraid of disappointment. Whether they use a word or simply stop the play, dominants also need to be considered during play. Submissives who push their dominant's past their comfort lines are enacting a kind of dangerous topping from the bottom and often this is a good indicator of an unhealthy BDSM or kink relationship, just as a dominant pushing a submissive past their limits raises warning flags as well. Aftercare therefore, is for both partners-not just the submissive.

 

 

 

8. Nipple Clamps: Another tool for sensation play which can causes pain or heightened sensitivity, nipple clamps are versatile and vary considerably based on type, size and material. Some are used to decorate the body while others are used during play, and this largely depends on what kind of experience you are looking for. Often beginners should start with very adjustable clamps because it is difficult to know how hard a submissive can take. Tweezer clamps are great for this but check out all the other different kinds because while function is important aesthetic is too. Don't keep nipple clamps on too long for they do cut off blood-flow. Generally, your submissive will tell you if they have lost feeling in their nipples and this is a good sign to take of the clamps. You can also use clamps on the vaginal lips, clitoris or the scrotum, have fun experimenting and trying out what gets your submissive wiggling. 

This is only a small list of some tools and toys to consider when exploring the wonderful and creative world of kink. It doesn't take a ton of money or time to try out these 8 things but it does take some research. Come into  Wicked Wanda's and chat with our knowledgeable staff or look up some books to get you started. We also have interesting workshops every month to give you ideas and/or to sharpen your skills.   

Play safe my kinky friends.

 

 

 

 

 

By: Gaia Shawna Morrissette

 Oral sex can be considered to be one of the most sensual sexual acts you can perform for your partner. Taking charge of his pleasure will surge his and your own arousal. Giving an out-of-this-world blow job is easy, not to mention great fun. We recommend starting with Gaia’s Seven Secrets to Giving the Ultimate B.J.

After years of working with men I am happy to share my insights on what men want and desire when it comes to receiving mind blowing oral sex.

Here are the Seven Secrets to giving the ultimate “hummer”:

1. Lube it up. Keep it wet and slippery. Most guys don’t find friction burn on their penis to be a turn on. What kind of lube you might ask? Your saliva is the best but you can also use flavoured lubes or oils. One of my favourite oils is coconut oil which is also vagina friendly. Just remember if you are using flavour lubes or oils then he should wash his penis before you have intercourse because sugars and other chemicals are not vagina friendly. Just because the bottle says intercourse safe that does not mean that it is. Anything with sugars or Glycerine and some of the other ingredients in flavoured lubes can cause a yeast infection… It is better to be save then sorry later. The vagina has a very delicate eco system. Yeast infections are not sexy!

2. Hir penis. But a lot of men have told me that woman don’t usually do enough. So when you have his penis in your mouth and are sucking ask him if he would like more or less suction. That will be your base line for pressure. It is important to use suction when his penis is in your mouth otherwise “it just feels like poking a warm bucket of water.” Don’t forget about your hands. They always need to be a part of the experience. Again, when you are stroking his “leaning tower of power” ask him if he would like more or less pressure. This will be your base line.
3. The balls, or my favourite, “the boys”. What to do with them? They like to be played with so don’t leave them out. Men can experience a lot of pleasure from their testicles. You can lick them, suck them, tickle them, pop them in your mouth, scratch them and even hum a tune on them. Just remember, when playing with your lover’s “twig and berries” you are looking for sap from the twig not juice from the berries so be gentle with them at first until you find out how sensitive they are and what kind of stimulation he likes. Now ladies you might be thinking ewww they are hairy and smelly. However, if you ask him to go have a shower.
4. Tongue action is not just for the ladies. Men love when your tongue shows up for the party. Lick him like a lollipop, tease him with your tongue, use your tongue while you are sucking “Mr. Happy” and don’t forget about the “balls” they love a good tongue bath.
5. Be turned on! No one wants to feel like you are doing it because you have to or it is an obligation. That is never sexy! So it is important that you are enjoying yourself and being turned on. Here are a couple tips if you are finding this difficult. There is an erogenous zone on the roof of your mouth which can give you great sexual pleasure once it is awake. Rub yourself and your own clit so you are aroused, get a vibrator that you can use on your vagina while you are giving him head or ask him to hold it for you. Make eye contact so he knows you are having a good time to. Also, give yourself permission to get sexually aroused from the pleasure you are giving him. Let yourself feel like a rock star!
6. Audio/Video. Men are incredibly turned on by visual and audio stimulation. So visually, give him a lot to look at; panties, heels, lingerie. Each guy is different in what visually turns him on so ask him. Men want to hear sounds. They want to hear your moans of pleasure, sucking sounds, gagging sounds, slurping sounds, talking dirty. Again, each guy is a bit different so ask him what he likes to hear and then make it loud and messy. This is not the time to worry about your makeup or being ladylike. He wants you to become a wanton tigress that is starving and craving his penis and having him in your mouth is the only thing that will satisfy that hunger.
7. Variety is the spice of life. Mix up your strokes, add hand and tongue, alternate speed and pressure. Oral sex is a great time for you to make friends with his penis. Do not be afraid of it or him. Explore and discover new possibilities to make his eyes roll back in his head. Ask questions and read his body language.

Let’s talk about ejaculation. What to do with it? Do you spit or swallow or put it somewhere else? In my experience it doesn’t matter much to the dude. He is super happy he got a blow job. You just need to decide for yourself what you are comfortable with before you start giving him oral sex so you can let him know if you don’t want him to cum in your mouth.

Remember, laugh lots and have fun exploring your lover’s “package’.

Until next time, stay naughty!

 

Gaia Shawna Morrissette

www.succulentliving.com 

 

By: Jean Samick

Polyamory, or Non-Monogamy as it’s also widely referred to, is the “participation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships,” that are not exclusive with other intimate relationships. This is done with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Done properly, it can enhance a relationship in a variety of different ways, and done improperly it can be detrimental to even the strongest of relationships.

A polyamorous friend of mine (who prefers to remain anonymous) offered some insight into open relationships and how people can go about them in a healthy, consensual and responsible way. “It’s kind of a choose-your-own-adventure style relationship,” Ms. Polyamory tells me, “You can define your relationship in terms of how open you want it to be. That can range from having hook-ups once a month, it can be as structured as that, or it can be that you have simultaneous partners. I think for a lot of people, they have their primary partner, their husband or wife, then maybe a girlfriend or a boyfriend. The key thing throughout all these different versions of non-monogamy is that it’s all consensual.”

It’s important to note the difference between polyamory and adultery. In any healthy relationship, whether it is casual or exclusive, the parties involved are all aware and consenting on their status. Polyamory or non-monogamy is when everyone involved is consensual to the fact that they are not in a physically or emotionally exclusive relationship, and infidelity is when only one side is consensual, while the other is unaware. 

If a couple decides to explore non-monogamy, Ms. Polyamory recommends a solid foundation of communication that takes place beforehand in order to maintain that trust. Non-monogamy should be an enhancement to a relationship, and not fixing a problem. There’s a certain amount of honesty and transparency that comes with any healthy relationship, and especially in the case of non-monogamous relationships that can frequently test bonds. Some may fear that their partner may fall in love with someone else outside the relationship, but Ms. Polyamory has a soothing response for that. “When we are falling in love with someone we fall in love with the individual pieces that make them up; their kindness, their ambitions, values, hobbies, past experiences, etc. We do not fall in love with them because they are monogamous to us. That is simply a framework people choose to express their love. So for some people a framework which includes seeing a person grow through other relationships as well is just as appealing.”

If a person is looking to broach the concept of an open relationship with their partner, Ms. Polyamory recommends taking steps to find your boundaries and set them immediately. Make everything a discussion, and lay out your fears immediately because jealously and insecurity can happen. By making everything a discussion with your partner, there is no “gatekeeper’ in the relationship setting the rules. “If there are things you know you’re not OK with, just make that a rule right away and deal with it later.” She suggests not using language that threatens the relationship that exists, and not to blame the other person if something upsets them. Saying something is OK and then discovering it isn’t is no one’s fault. Don’t blame them, but talk about the problem and be proactive about feelings.

Broaching the topic with friends and family, especially if you are in a long term relationship, can be difficult to navigate. “I had a lot of doubts about what’s OK to share and what’s not OK to share.” Ms. Polyamory says, “Talk to your partner about this as well. “Who are we going to share this with?’ or “How do we talk about it?’ Look for support, don’t be afraid to reach out.” She quotes Dan Savage “Your parents deserve not to know everything.” In regards to my question about her family, to which she pointed out if they saw her or her partner out with someone else, “If that happened, I wouldn’t want them to misunderstand our agreement.”

With this framework in mind, decide if pursuing a non-monogamous relationship is right for you. There is no right or wrong way to love, just different options. If you feel like trying non-monogamy, seek out support from the poly community that can help you explore the different facets of the lifestyle. There are Canadian Advocacy pages for Polyamory as well as local chapters and international branches.

You can also find Poly events listed on Wicked Wanda’s Calendar.

Jean Samick

 

By: Jean Samick

Catsuits, Mexican wrestling masks and leather pants. These could be innocent fashion choices in their selective settings, but when you cross over into bondage suit fetishes things start to get interesting for your wardrobe. Latex fetishes and bondage suits are a type of BDSM where the entire body is covered in varying degrees for the purpose of bodily restriction and denial arousal.

Masks are especially popular as an add on or entrance into the fetish. They cover the face and neck completely, and often cover the eyes while leaving an opening for the mouth and nose. The gimp suit is a bit different. The suit is tight fitting and covers everything from feet to hands, and if there isn’t a hood a separate mask comes with it. Covering the entire body from top to bottom has the sole purpose of dehumanizing the person in the suit so they’re see as a toy for arousal, and not as a sexual partner. The people in the suits are often ignored or used as furniture in a dehumanizing but consensual way. This sub/ dom play is like an amped up version of BDSM, and is not for beginners.

The suits themselves can be made of latex, rubber, PVC, leather and darlexx. Since some of the material is stretchier and more breathable than others, beginners should typically stick to something that is form fitting and restricting but easily removed. Full costumes made of leather cannot fit as tightly, but will have an impact on body temperature depending on how much of a persons body is enclosed or exposed. Some of the suits have openings at the genitals or erogenous zones, but not always so make sure to hit the bathroom before slinking into one. They don’t have an escape route!

There are plenty of online stores that specialize in bondage masks and suits, but you don’t need to look hard. Wicked Wanda's caters to the catsuit people, and whether you get one for Halloween or “Halloween” (for those with nosier postmen) you want to make sure you triple check the sizing requirements so you get one that fits. It’s not the sort of thing you want too loose, or too snug. A loose suit could deflate the mood, and one that’s too tight could have dangerous consequences like circulation and breathing restriction.

In pop-culture, movies like Pulp Fiction and The People Under the Stairs have featured gimp suits in different ways, and shows like Amercian Horror Story have had them in the plot as aesthetic backdrop and ominous characters. The only thing these Hollywood examples seem to miss is when the gimp or bondage suit wearer gets aggressive and attacks someone. The whole mentality behind these costumes is one of docile complacency.

So before you dive deep into the fun world of leather suits and gimp furniture, try out some lighter options like wrapping your partner tightly or buying a quick-escape straightjacket. It’ll have a similar restrictive setting without the potential mishaps, and you can grow your suit collection from there.

Jean Samick

 by: Jean Samick

Most people have an appreciation for some new shoes, or even the occasional pedicure. But how many people out there get aroused at the sight of some nice looking feet? Quite a few actually, as Podophilia claims to be the most common of the fetishes, with tons of groups and online forums to support it. There are also plenty of famed foot enthusiasts to support this claim, with Elvis Presley and Andy Warhol as historical representations, and people like Quentin Tarantino among the more recent. Tarantino’s foot fetish is fairly well documented in his films, and he’s come clean about it in several interviews unabashedly. This shameless admittance to a fetish takes the taboo out of it and by working feet subtly into each film he shows how this fetish is more than sexual, it’s a form of art.

Just because famous people do it doesn’t mean it’s common, but there’s plenty of science behind this fun little form of freakiness. “There are many reasons feet are said to be arousing. Feet are often the first part of a mother or father which a toddler touches.” Dr. Brenda Love theorizes in her Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices. “Likewise, parents often play with toddlers’ by pushing them with their feet or letting them ride one of their feet.” This theory links with others that the skin of the feet, with the tautness and shine of the skin being the focus of visual arousal paired with the subconscious connection to nurturing and sexuality.

Dr. Aggrawal had a more straightforward theory in his book Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices. “It has been suggested that the foot’s shape is distinctly phallic and is viewed by the fetishist to replicate the female or male genitals or the shape of a female body. Another view is that the feet and the genitals are in the same visual window, and when looking at one, the other will be in view as well; thus the two become associated in the mind.” Whether by visual association or by deep seated emotional connections to your upbringing, feet aren’t a substitute for human intimacy. One of the consistencies found in a lot of these studies is that foot fetishists not only maintain healthy relationships, but are also typically successful getting their partners on board with the fun.

There is no connection between Podophilia and other fetishes, nor is there between any sexual preference. Gay, straight and everything in between can enjoy a set of feet. The only common link seems to be its prevalence in men above women. This could be because of women’s feet maintaining a nicer aesthetic than men’s, but appearance alone does not sell the foot. The interest lies in everything from foot treatments like pedicures and massages to the smell and feel of it. And let’s not forget good old tactile interaction- the smelling, licking and sexual use of feet. Whatever it is, its popularity is rising and becoming more mainstream and with it the normalcy and acceptance of freaky fun!

Jean Samick

by: Jean Samick

Giving your sex life a boost doesn’t necessarily mean busting out the whips and chains and enrolling you and a partner in bondage classes. Sex is more about intercourse, it’s also about intimacy and relieving a little tension. So what better way to be intimate, relaxed and also sneak some foreplay in? Bedroom massage.

Massage in the bedroom can manifest in a few different ways. Maybe you and your partner need a chaperone on your journey to relaxville, so a partner massage could be a great way to get comfortable with the process. By having a masseuse lead the way through not only the act of rubbing down your muscles, but putting you in the frame of mind and physical setting to relax your mind as well as body, can be helpful in giving you pointers on how to do it back at home. Dimming the lights, putting on some calming music and warming up the room are all good practices to adapt. Nothing will snap you out of zen-land faster than being cold, hearing your neighbours TV or being able to see that crack in the ceiling you keep trying to forget about. This time is for you and your partner, so block out the rest of the world just as you would in a spa. That means no phones!

When you get to the actual massage part, remember to include the whole body in your saucy exploration. Don’t just stick to the back and shoulders, massage out each leg from thigh to calf to feet. Intertwine your fingers with theirs toes and hands to increase the blood flow, and alternate pressure and methods of rubbing to do the same through the muscles. Get your fingers into their hair (length permitting) and run your fingertips gentle over their scalp, just like at the hairdresser. Explore every inch of their body and re-familiarize yourself with your partner. Increasing the circulation through your partners body will make them more sensitive to your touch and enhance the feeling of the massage.

Alright, so what do you need for supplies? It depends how fancy you want to get, but at the bare minimum you probably want some lotion or baby oil so you don’t end up rubbing your partner raw. You want enough of a barrier between their skin that your hands can slide easily over their body, but without creating a messy lotion puddle beneath them. Imagine you’re moisturizing your partners skin very slowly, and ration out what you need per area of the body instead of trying to cover it all at once. After that, it’s all up to your personal comfort. Scented candles provide a nice smell and appropriately dimmed light, and you can get fancy oils or blindfolds but it’s all up to your personal exploration. Having a soft firm surface to lay on with a light sheet or blanket nearby will also keep your partner at maximum comfort.

It’s ok to laugh a little while you and your partner are finding your footing so to speak. Massage in the bedroom might seem a bit corny, or like something reserved for people too prudish to get crazy, but in fact it’s the opposite. The slow and methodic rhythm to massage is a slow and teasing sort of foreplay that can be drawn out as long as you wish. You and your partner could hit a frenzy by the time you’re done both legs, or you could draw things out while you switch roles as masseuse. Just be careful not to fall asleep before the fun!

Jean Samick

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