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Cunnilingus: Going Down for Her

Madelaine Dorion cunnilingus Female anatomy Going Down oral sex sexpert Wicked Wanda's

Cunnilingus (or oral sex for her) is a special gift that you can perform for your partner. It involves, licking, kissing and/or sucking the vulva (external genitalia) and vaginal canal (internal genitalia). The clitoris is an area of the body that provides much of the pleasurable feelings experienced. It is located at the top of the vaginal opening and is covered in a little hood of flesh that can be retracted. Upwards of 70% of all women cannot arrive at orgasm unless they receive some kind of stimulation to the clitoris and surrounding areas beforehand.

 

Many partners are eager to try cunnilingus but admit that they aren’t that certain what to do once they get down there. Consider educating yourself a bit if you feel you fall into this category. Check out our female anatomy page if you are unfamiliar with any of the terms in this article. You can also sign up for a fun, in-person class at Wicked Wanda’s. You’re guaranteed to go home with lots of new ideas to take home and try out.

One of the best things about cunnilingus is that it doesn’t require a lot of fancy preparation. Some people feel awkward about their own personal odour and would prefer to have a bath or shower beforehand. You can make this part of your sexy foreplay by giving your partner a complete treatment, offering to bath or shower them. A vibrating shower toy, such as the Tango are fun ways to get things started. You could also take any vibrating bullet toy and put it inside a plastic, zippable baggie. Slit a bath sponge in half and tada, you have a vibrating bath sponge. Follow up your partner’s bath by drying her off with a towel and then rubbing her down all over with a Naked Massage oil.

Sometimes people who give cunnilingus are a bit disappointed when they realize how long it takes for a woman to achieve orgasm this way. Porn videos, for the most part, show women getting off in a minute or less. The reality is that you may be down there for awhile, so get comfortable. If you want to look like an expert, you could have a few things prepared before your session: lube (ideally glycerin and parabens-free such as Sliquid, a towel (for hands or for squirty situations), Glyde vegan dental dam and/or latex or nitrile gloves if your partner has an STI or other communicable disease and a bullet vibe. If you have neck or back problems, you may want to consider purchasing sex furniture such as the Liberator shapes, which naturally contour to many body shapes and allow you to be comfortable while possibly being in a position your body is not used to. If your partner has troubles keeping their legs apart, there are also slings that can be used to make this easier. Using any type of vibrator in between or combined with your licking and sucking will change up the sensation and also give your jaw/neck a break.

So, you’ve done all your homework and you’re ready to go! Sometimes the person on the receiving end may still feel intimidated. Make sure you let them know that you’re excited to be able to do this for them. If your haven’t done any massage beforehand, stroking the mons and the thighs is a nice way to lead in. Running your hands through her public hair (if she has it) is also a good way to dislodge any loose hairs that could end up in your mouth. Generally, starting with a flat tongue in big, broad strokes is best. It allows you to lubricate the area and get her used to you being there. What we see of the clitoris is only the tip of the iceberg. The clitoris is kind of like a chubby wishbone with the visible head at the centre and the crura (or clitoral legs) buried beneath the skin on either side of the vaginal lips. Licking the clitoris is lovely but many people find that if all the attention is focused there all of the time that it’s too stimulating and may actually hurt. Licking and nibbling the inner and outer lips is pleasurable for many people. Some people also enjoy the sensation of having their clitoris sucked on. The clitoris has a hood over it. Some women like having it retracted and stimulated very gently while others find this overwhelming and/or painful.

While licking and sucking, you can also insert fingers or a sex toy into the vaginal canal. Add lube if necessary. To learn more about fingering a woman’s g-spot, read this. The perineum (located below the vaginal opening and above the anus) is rich in nerve endings and a fun place to explore. Many individuals have strong feelings about the perineum and anus so it may be best to ask before surprising someone with fingers or a toy there. If your partner has never had their anus played with, start with a small toy such as The Classic Butt Plug. Any toy that goes into the anus should have a flared base or a ring so that it can be easily removed and so that it doesn’t get move further into the anus (read more about Anal Adventures here). Others may be excited about playing with an area they may have considered taboo. If you are going to lick around the anus (rimming), you may want to consider using a Glyde dental dam as there is a risk of certain STIs and bacterias with this area. Put a drop or two or lube in the skin side of the dam to make things feel more natural for your partner.

Most women find they need a build-up of rhythmic motions before they can arrive at orgasm. Switching over to a more pointed tongue at this point may be helpful. Some people do circles, up-down/ side-to-side motions or even the alphabet so they get a variety of different strokes. Watch for changes in your partner’s breathing, bucking motions of the hips, verbalizations (screaming, moaning), actions such as showing your face closer into her or closing her legs around your head as signs that orgasm may be soon. Don’t stop until she tells you to stop. A woman is capable of having more than one orgasm. Some women need a break in between orgasms to cool off while others can tolerate repeated stimulation. Always check in with your partner.

To add some additional sensory pleasure, you can add the element of heat or cooling. Tickle her Pink gel that feels a little cool when it’s blown on. Inserting a glass or metal toy that has been soaking in warm or cool water, into the vagina, can produce some pretty wild sensations when paired with cunnilingus. Glass and metal toys can retain their temperature for up to 20 minutes. Many people also enjoy the removal of all other sensation so they can focus on the area that is being stimulated. Using a blindfold, restraints or spreader bar can help enhance this experience. A blindfold helps with the element of surprise so that your partner cannot anticipate your next move. It’s also great for fantasy roleplay. Restraints and spreader bars are also good for fantasy.

 

Original Blog Written for Wicked Wanda's 



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