Well boys and girls, it’s your turn to discover and develop some magical oral skills that will excite and stimulate the woman (or women) in your life. These tips are also great for all the ladies who love the ladies. If you want to help her become a wet, screaming, moaning mess, here are five easy steps to follow.
Teasing: The number one complaint I hear from women is that men go for the vagina waaaay too soon. Dudes, the “honey pot” takes time to warm up! Teasing is one of the best ways to encourage the vagina to open up for business. Kiss and softly touch her whole body. Do not touch the vagina or the “end zone” yet. Start to kiss and lick down her belly and move your mouth towards her “mound” or pubic bone. As you pass over it, lightly blow warm air, getting so close to her that she thinks you are going to put it in your mouth… then don’t. Instead, continue to lick her inner thigh. I know it sounds evil but trust me, taking the time to tease her now will mean less work for you later! Keep the teasing up until the magic moment when her vagina starts to follow you. At this point, she may be writhing, begging, or even whining for you to lick her. Then, and only then, gently lick her vagina and put her into your mouth. Just remember not to attack the vulva like you have not eaten in days.
Pressure: Each vagina likes different levels of pressure at different times of arousal, so it is always better to start soft, then slowly increase the pressure with your tongue. Deciphering a woman’s pressure preferences has a lot to do with reading her body language, which brings me to tip number three.
Body language: Paying attention to how a woman’s body is physically responding to your tongue’s touch is key. If she is pushing into your mouth she wants more pressure. If she is pulling away, she either wants less pressure or she is working up to an intense orgasm and her body is trying to run away. If you can’t tell the difference between the two, ask her if it hurts. If the answer is “yes,” ease up on the pressure. If the answer is “no,” hold her in place, keep doing what you’re doing, and hang on tight. Listen to the sounds and moans and watch how her leg muscles shake or tense up. Listen to her breathing, if it’s fast and breathy that’s a good sign. If she stops moving or making sounds, that’s your sign to try something new.
The Moves: It is important to explore the whole vulva with your mouth and tongue, don’t get stuck on the same move. Remember, every vagina is different and every moment with that vagina is different. The best way to figure out where the money spots are at any given time is to map them out. Start with a long lick from the taint to the pubic bone; move up and down and side to side. Important: listen and watch her body language. Lightly suck “the lips” into your mouth, then watch. Lightly suck the clit into your mouth, then watch. Start to explore the clit with different tongue movements like flicking up and down, side to side, or in circle. Try writing the alphabet on her clit with your tongue and…watch! Lightly nibble on her inner thigh and come back to her vulva. Use your imagination. Try inserting a finger inside her vaginal canal. Move slow. This exploration should take 15 minutes or even longer. Don’t forget to keep watching, taking good mental notes of where those hot spots are. (Coming soon: article on fingering and manual loving.)
Bring it home! If you took my advice and remembered to watch her body language and listen to her sounds, you should have a great idea of what type of pressure and movement works best in all the right places. Now it’s time to return to the spot that is going to drive her crazy to the point of explosion and orgasm. Once her orgasm starts to build, do not change anything you are doing – Nothing! Keep the same pressure, speed, and rhythm until she has her orgasm. If she is not orgasmic, that’s okay. Just keep going until her body language changes or your tongue tries out.
Note: Some woman have not been able to feel safe enough to allow an orgasm to happen in their lives. Don't try to make it happen! There is nothing you can do. She needs to heal and figure a few things out on her own first.
If there is a woman in your life who is not able to experience the pleasure of an orgasm, give her my contact information. I help women heal and reclaim their orgasms at www.succulentliving.com.
Now, a little talk about smell and taste. This is not a sexy topic, but an important one. During your teasing stage, you will get an idea of how she smells. If it turns you off, take her hand and say, “Let’s go have a shower together, I’m not feeling clean.” When you have her in the shower, take time to wash her entire body, soap up her vagina, and rinse everything off. Then go back to orally exploring her. If the shower doesn’t fix the taste or smell, she may have a minor yeast infection or imbalance that she is not aware of. Switch things up to manual stimulation and intercourse, but make sure you use a condom. If you pick up her yeast infection, you could end up giving it back to her. Depending on how comfortable you are, you might gently mention your observations 30-60 minutes after you have finished your sexual activity. Try saying, “I don’t know if you are aware but I think your vaginal balance might be off a little.” Tread carefully because this could be embarrassing for her. Stay tuned for more posts on exercises to improve your oral endurance. Until next time, remember dining on “the nectar of the Goddess” has zero calories!
Gaia Shawna Morrissette
Bonus: The proper term for oral sex that is performed on a woman is called “Cunnilingus.”