By: Julia Muse
There are a million reasons to explore the untapped sexual potential of your amazing female body. As a citizen sexual scientist and sex educator, I have boiled it down to the heart of three main points. Three reasons why it is important to your empowerment that you explore the reaches and the boundaries of your physical and spiritual self.
- To know more about the capabilities of your body.
The female body is absolutely incredible. In my opinion, our culture has failed miserably in the empowerment of women, no matter how far we think we have come. Our cultural norms suggest that women need any number of products and fancy clothes and accessories and make up just so we can leave the house feeling confident. We are told from day one that our bodies are gross, inadequate, leaky, smelly, incapable of birthing children without aid and barely capable of orgasm. If we are not sexual, we are frigid and cold and if we are too sexual we are whores and sluts. My goal is to convey to women that there is not an ounce of truth to our misguided and archaic cultural story. There was a time, before the rise of patriarchy, when women were the equal leaders of their villages. When women were respected as contributing and essential members of the tribe. When we were appreciated for our special gifts of empathy, communication and intuition. The gifts of women are slowly being realized today in the infancy of our feminist movement. We are rising up to challenge the misconceptions of our culture to write a new story. What I hope to convey to women is that our sexuality need not be a hindrance. Our sexuality is a great gift and an aspect of our lives which can be improves (improved?), daily, for free. No gym memberships or new shoes are required. No permission is required. You have the power to explore your own amazing body and it’s infinite capabilities by yourself or with a trusted and respectful partner. It is not a competition. You need not emulate the acrobatics of the lovely ladies of adult films (unless you want to!) You need not feel inadequate if your body doesn't work the same way as another or if you don't enjoy the same things as it seems as though other women enjoy. What you might need is more faith in your body. More faith in your ability to use sexual release to transcend the everyday, strengthen your relationship with yourself and your partner(s) or potential partners. I believe that with the proper support, safety, respect and atmosphere that most women are capable of female ejaculation and it is my goal to teach as many women as I can what I have learned.
- To strengthen and improve your relationship with yourself and/or your partner
In order to truly love yourself and your body, it is imperative that you spend some time in playful exploration. Whether that be on your own or with a partner is up to you! You are the one who writes your own story. Consider the possibility that female ejaculation may be within your reach as this is the first step to getting there. Keep in mind that your partner may need some time to adjust to your new found interest in your own empowerment. Your partner might be used to you behaving in a certain fashion and may consider your freedom to do and learn what you like about your body intimidating. Remember that you are an autonomous individual and you can tailor your life and your relationships to suit your inquisitive spirit. If you are attempting the journey solo, good for you! You have taken your own pleasure into your hands and have great courage. There are many toys and aids that can assist you as a solo squirter, but the most important is probably a solid (glass, metal, wood, acrylic) toy designed specifically for to hit your G Spot. Some women are capable of reaching it themselves (they must have longer arms than I!) and some women can even squirt WITHOUT G spot stimulation. You will never know until you try. Squirting usually requires a great deal of friction and pressure, which is why a lot of women tell me they cannot do it solo. Once my partner figured out I could squirt, I was also quite skeptical that I could achieve this feat solo, but now I find that I have a much higher level of control over these things than I could have foreseen. If you need a confidence booster, spend some time building up the strength of your kegel muscles with benwa balls or a Magic Banana. A fun kegel builder game to play with your partner involves you squeezing your kegels as hard as you can around their member or hand. This builds your squirting muscles and can improve your sex life, your partners sex life, assist in pregnancy and childbirth and keep you pelvic floor toned. Everyone wins! As for intimacy, the journey towards female ejaculation requires trust and support.
- To relieve stress and the build-up of negative energy
Squirting can be intense. It can envelop you whole. It can raise you up off the bed both figuratively and literally. You may make noises you and your partner have never heard. You may tense up or even require bondage to feel safe and secure. You might feel a flood of endorphins, a flood of positive emotion or a flood of tears. I experienced all these things when I first learned. For me, squirting is the ultimate release. The idea is to surrender yourself to something that is completely outside of your control. I find the fact that female ejaculation is barely recognized by science and barely accepted by our culture to be one of the most unfortunate of failures. It is a purposeful cutting off of our mind, body, and spirit connection. The wise women saints of the past like Hildegard von Bingen and Theresa of Avila used to channel this energy into their worship of divinity. They would have ecstatic experiences loving their God because they were open to being enveloped, they were surrendering themselves to God. Some have interpreted these episodes as pseudo sexual and I would tend to agree that this theory makes sense. These women had devoted their lives and bodies to a higher power and believed fully that they could be 'possessed' by the Holy Spirit. As a humanist, I think one of the more important connections one can make is with their inner self. Squirting makes me feel closer to something magical and spiritual. It may sound very unscientific or too 'new age' but what we are really tapping into is actually something quite ancient. Something latent. We have the ability to create water seemingly from nothing. I can see why the men folk might have been intimated by this skill, why they might have needed to quell our powerful abilities, keep us in the dark about our own amazing bodies. I can see why our cultural paradigm of Capitalist body shaming stops many women from exploring. In the Victorian age, when women were kept under wraps, in corsets and under the thumb, we were considered to be 'hysterical' is we were overly emotional or if we talked back or used our own brains to think and question. It is pretty telling that the main cure for this 'female issue' was for a so called medical professional to give her a relieving 'paroxysm. In those days (and today in some places) it was believed that women received no pleasure at all from sexual experiences. That we were incapable of orgasms, never mind female ejaculation. Men even invented the vibrator just to facilitate this 'treatment'. Considering that women have always been as sexually amazing as we are now, I think it is almost our duty as free and empowered women to explore where these women were forbidden to. In my opinion, we owe them our present pleasure and we owe it to them to have some courage to explore where they were forbidden. I have never felt more peaceful, at ease and comfortable with myself and my partner than after an intense squirting session. All the pent up stress of the day is released with this amazing viscous fluid that my body created in no time at all out of virtually nothing. My partner can almost diagnose my pent up energy, can tell when I need a good session of release and surrender. He can ejaculate my negative energy with the power of his love for me and his faith in my body. After squirting I feel at peace, I feel more in tune with my body and intuition, I feel clarity and I feel empowered. I go through a range of emotions that I cannot explore during the daily grind. This is what I desire to share.
It is important to trust yourself. If you are trying new things with a partner, make sure they are respectful, supportive and trustworthy. Make sure you have a safe word, so if things get too intense, you can convey that information. Female ejaculation is the destination, but what is far more important is the journey. What is far more important is the intention in your actions, your belief in female abilities and your curiosity. Squirting is intense, but it is also playful. Your body is a playground that you are finally allowed to play on. Have fun!
By: Julia Muse