So, you want to buy a sex toy?
If you’re anything like me, the first time you go to buy a sex toy, you give yourself strange yet empowering pep talks about how you’re a grown person of whatever gender and you can do what you want. You tell yourself that you’ll know what you want when you see it and that you just have to get up the guts to go to your local sexytime shop and take a look around.
Once your courage is sufficiently gathered, you go. You walk into that wonderful land of mystery and wonder and...holy shit. The entire room is filled with completely unknown and previously unimagined things that can be clamped, inserted, wrapped, and there are wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too many things for your brain to process and HOLY SHIT THAT DILDO HAS A LITERAL FOOT OF GIRTH!
Here’s where I hope you aren’t me, reader, because when this happened to me I fucking peaced out. I mumbled something stupid like “Look at my wrist, I have to go” and ran away from my sexuality and my potential orgasms.
I want better for you.
I want better for you, so that’s why I’ve got this simple guide to help provide you with the confidence you need to get yourself off (WINK) to a good start on buying yourself a sex toy.
Step 1: Single or Multi-Player?
What is it you’re looking for? Something you can use solo or something to use with a partner?
If you’re looking for something to use with a partner, make sure you talk to your partner beforehand. Talk about what turns you on in bed and find something that compliments what you want to do and have done to you. There are lots of different types of sex toys, so knowing what function you want the toy to have can really help narrow it down.
If you’re looking for yourself, think about your go-to spank bank fantasies. What was the first thing that turned you on and what about it turned you on? What kind of toys can add to that experience? Remember that masturbation toys don’t have to be limited to dildos, vibrators, cock sleeves, vibrator rings etc. Have a fantasy of a rough bit of tumble? Maybe a pair of nipple clamps will do more for you than a vibrator ever could!
Step 2: Don’t Shame Yourself
Liking something in bed doesn’t say anything more about you than that you like that thing in bed. Sex is not a personality test. I know more than a few people who’ve made the mistake of conflating their sexual orientation with what they enjoy in bed and frankly, it breaks my heart. If you think you might like something, there’s no shame in trying it out! Anal stimulation, penetration of any variation, these and so many more things are fun for everyone to enjoy. Don’t make the mistake of questioning who you are just because you might have a kink you didn’t expect.
Step 3: Don’t Get All Technical
If you’re worried about the mechanics of a toy, just start simple. The more relaxed you are, the more likely you are to enjoy yourself and you can always get more complicated once you have a better idea of what you like.
Step 4: Ask the Staff
When in doubt, ask the experts. Wicked Wanda staff are not going to judge you for wanting to have great sexy times and chances are, there’s virtually nothing you can say that will shock them. It’s a new generation, we’re all from the Internet, and very much aware of Rule 34: If you can imagine it, there is porn of it.
Step 5: Too Shy To Shop In Person? We’re Online!
Listen, maybe you don’t want to a shop in person. I get it. I’m the type of person who orders food online because I don’t want to talk to another human on the phone. If you don’t want to shop in person, I’ve got great news: Wicked Wanda’s offers online shopping AND online assistance from staff. We also have reviews of some of our products for your to peruse if you’re curious to know just how some of our toys work.
So, there you have it. A simple guide to help you on the journey to more sexy-fun-times.
I hope there’s nothing holding you back from finding the toy that’s right for you and on the off chance that the giant fucking dildo I mentioned is right for you...well, just know that you are my hero.
Written by: Chesty LaRue for Wicked Wanda's Adult Emporium