Meet Wanda

I hope my journey sparks the courage to get uncomfortable. To try the things that have been calling to you, question what you've been taught, and just live your damn life before it's over.

I'm a lifelong entrepreneur and a single mom to three incredible grown women who are not only my daughters but also my teachers. We grew together, and sometimes we had to pull apart to become whole within ourselves.

My children had to grow up fast. I was a single mother working in real estate sales and commercial leasing, building a career that was demanding, unconventional and, at times, incredibly difficult. I always seemed to choose the hard roads.

I've spent much of my life on a path of self-discovery. Sometimes I surprised myself with my courage, my ability to build businesses and my willingness to think outside the box. I considered myself lucky to be in the right place at the right time. Along the way, I made wonderful friends by keeping my word, providing honest, reliable service and trying to make business as much fun as possible.

But it wasn't always easy.

I was working in a male-dominated industry where I was often referred to as "The Girl." Sometimes it was funny, even to me. But beneath the humour was the constant reminder that I was an outsider.

I worked hard, persevered and became successful. As the money grew, so did the pressure. More business. More money. More expectations. Somehow, it never seemed to be enough.

I became fascinated by the power money held over people. Some of the wealthiest people I met were humble and grounded. They understood that money was something you could use to make a difference. Others seemed to lose themselves in it.

I struggled to understand where I belonged.

When your life is driven by fear, it becomes difficult to find love, either in yourself or in others. I know, because I got stuck there.

By my early thirties, I had been divorced twice. I had three children, a demanding career and a life that often left me feeling sad and alone. I was building success on the outside while struggling to find balance on the inside.

Then one day, my boss said something that stayed with me. If financial success was a gift I'd been given, what mattered was what I chose to do with it.

That changed the way I thought about success. I began to understand that having something means very little if you never share it.

But life still had a few lessons waiting for me.

I met the love of my life. We couldn't be together at the time, but we shared an honest connection built on trust. Our lives took different directions, yet we stayed in touch over many years, leaving the door just a little bit open.

Sadly, he passed away. Around that time, I also lost my best friend and both my parents within a very short period.

Grief has a way of making you reconsider everything.

I stepped away from a toxic relationship that had lasted many years and began finding my way back to myself.

And then came menopause.

For me, menopause has been a kind of freedom. A new chapter. An opportunity to embrace everything I've experienced, everything I've learned and everything I still want to discover.

I've come to embrace the many parts of who I am: an entrepreneur, a Domme, a BDSM practitioner and guide, an inventor and a sexual wellness coach.

I'm no longer interested in living according to someone else's expectations. I want to live fully, authentically and on my own terms. And I want other people to feel empowered to do the same.

From Wicked Wanda to Dear Miss Wanda

As the owner of Wicked Wanda's in Ottawa, I've had the privilege of serving a beautifully diverse community.

Over the years, I've listened to people share stories about sexuality, relationships, trauma, curiosity, identity, pleasure and the things they were afraid to ask anyone else.

I've seen how deeply shame and judgment can silence us.

People often arrive looking for something much more meaningful than a product. Sometimes they're looking for answers. Sometimes reassurance. Sometimes simply a place where they can ask a question without feeling embarrassed or judged.

Those conversations have shaped me.

They've taught me that sexual wellness isn't just about sex or pleasure. It's also about confidence, consent, healing, self-discovery and reclaiming personal power.

I've always had a big heart for the underdog. For people who feel misunderstood, judged or pushed aside. For anyone who has been made to feel that who they are, what they want or what they're curious about is somehow wrong.

I come to these conversations first as a listener, a guide, an educator and someone who isn't afraid to interrupt the thinking that keeps us stuck.

I believe we all deserve spaces where we can finally exhale.

Where exploration is respected.

Where questions are welcome.

Where we aren't made to feel small for wanting to understand ourselves more fully.

That's what Dear Miss Wanda is about.

It's about opening conversations, challenging stigma and examining the fear and conditioning that can prevent us from discovering who we truly are.

It's about remembering that no matter our shape, story, age or past, we are worthy of love, pleasure and acceptance.

Life is rarely perfect or simple. I've certainly learned that.

But our imperfections don't diminish our right to joy, connection and living fully as ourselves.

And if sharing some of my experiences helps someone else find the courage to question, explore or begin again, then perhaps all those hard roads have led me somewhere worthwhile.

So, let's get uncomfortable.

I'll go first.