What is the prostate?
The prostate is one organ part of the male sexual system. Other parts of the system include the penis, scrotum and testes. The prostate is unique from the other sex organs as it’s completely hidden internally. Whether you have been aware of it or not, the prostate has been actively involved in every ejaculation a penis-owner has had.
The prostate gland, often called the “p-spot”, is about the size of a golf ball. It is located just below their bladder between the base of the penis and the rectum. This sensitive area is surrounded by pelvic floor muscles that contract during orgasm and ejaculation.
The main purpose of the prostate is to produce prostatic fluid, which is mixed with semen to nourish and protect it as it travels to become ejaculated. In total, the prostatic fluid makes up around 30% of ejaculation. The prostate contracts during ejaculation, sending the fluid into the urethra, the tube within the penis that transports the semen out of the body.
The prostate can become enlarged with age due to several health conditions, the most common being benign prostatic hypertrophy (BHP), prostatitis, and prostate cancer. There are two ways to feel a prostate: (1) having a prostate exam done by a healthcare professional; or (2) doing a pleasurable prostate massage.
What are the benefits of prostate massage?
The greatest benefit of prostate massage is sexual pleasure. Men who enjoy prostate stimulation have described wavelike sensations through their pelvic region and prolonged, stronger orgasms. Some men say they've had increased sexual pleasure and are able to ejaculate more easily with prostate massage.
Studies are limited, but some research has shown that prostate massage may be helpful in relieving some health conditions, such as prostatitis. Prostatitis is the condition of swelling and inflammation of the prostate gland which can cause symptoms like pain when you pee and pain around your groin and pelvic. Although most common treatments are antibiotics and anti-inflammatory drugs, some doctors may suggest prostate massage. It can help ease pressure and swelling by releasing fluids that build up in the prostate. Prostate massage can also aid those who have issues with urine flow. The prostate wraps around the urethra like a donut around a straw. This positioning means that a swollen prostate can affect urine flow. Prostate massage might ease swelling and relieve pressure on the urethra.
How to give a prostate massage
The prostate can be stimulated both externally, against the perineum, and internally, through the rectum. Prostate massage should feel pleasurable. It should never feel like a rectal exam from a healthcare professional. Here are suggested steps for giving an internal prostate massage:
- Lube your fingers up.
- Begin with external massage. Spend several minutes gliding a well-lubricated finger in a circle around the outside of the anal opening to relax it.
- Once external and internal anal sphincters are relaxed, gradually insert a finger into the anus. Start shallow before going deeper and communicate with your partner to ensure you do not go farther than what feels comfortable to them.
- Once you have a finger or two placed inside the rectum, search for a rounded lump located up towards the root of the penis. This is the prostate and it should feel soft and smooth to the touch.
- Press your finger(s) against the prostate toward the front of the body using a “come here” motion. Repeat this motion. You can also apply pressure by moving your finger(s) in a circle around the prostate or moving from the outer edge to the center of the prostate.
- When you are ready to stop, let your finger glide out slowly. Never pull it out quickly.
Prostate play tips
You will likely feel the prostate swell as your partner becomes more aroused, and especially before ejaculation. Once you get the internal prostate massage down, you can try stimulating their penis with one hand (also well lubricated) while providing a prostate massage with the other for orgasmic amplification. Note that massaging the prostate too intensely can damage nerves. Here are some tips to prevent injury or discomfort:
- Trim and file nails to prevent scratches, cuts or tears to the rectum or prostate.
- Wash and dry your hands thoroughly prior to performing a prostate massage
- Use lubricant generously (silicone-based lube is best for this sex practice as it’s more viscous and longer-lasting than other lubes).
- Consider wearing latex gloves for added protection
Perhaps you’d prefer to massage your prostate yourself rather than with a partner. Though a finger can provide more pressure precision, there’s a variety of sex toys on the market that can assist with solo prostate play. For example, a curved glass dildo or S-shaped wand can provide firm pressure and slide into the rectum comfortably with any lube. A more intense sex toy would be a vibrating butt plug (like the Adore U Anal Luxure). When using any vibrating toy for the first time, don’t crank it up and cram it in. Insert the toy in off mode and get used to the way it feels before turning on the power. Once inserted, begin with the lowest setting.
We hope these tips help build curiosity and confidence with introducing prostate play into your sex script!
Written by Natalia Jaczkowski