PENIS PLEASURE

It’s common knowledge that the penis is a major area of sexual pleasure, but there are also many myths and misconceptions regarding penis norms. In this newsletter, we are going to expand your knowledge about penis pleasure so that you can level up your solo or partnered play. 

The anatomy of a penis

Learning the correct anatomy of genitals is important as it eliminates shame and embarrassment, and also increases understanding of how one can experience more sexual pleasure.

                                                                                                Artist: Joce Cova 

The penis itself has three main parts: the base, the shaft, and the glans. The base of the penis is composed of erectile tissues and muscles, while the shaft of the penis is composed entirely of erectile tissue. The erectile tissue is responsible for allowing erections to occur. The glans, also called the head of the penis, contains a high concentration of nerve endings, making it highly sensitive and the part of the penis most associated with initiating orgasms. On the underside of the head is the frenulum, an area of sensitive tissue that connects the head and the shaft. Foreskin covers the glans, except in circumcised males who have had their foreskin surgically removed (note: research has shown that circumcision decreases penile sensitivity). The glans has the urethral opening through which semen and urine exit the body. The glans expands or mushrooms during erection. The penis has three long chambers inside it. Two of these chambers are responsible for making it hard and rigid during erection. They are called the corpus cavernosa and they run parallel to each other up the shaft of the penis. To get an erection, they fill up with blood. The third chamber encircles the urethra. This tube expands during erection but it doesn't get hard or rigid like the other two, otherwise ejaculate would not flow. 

In addition to the penis, there are two other important parts of a penis-owner’s anatomy: the scrotum and the testicles. The scrotum is a sac of wrinkled skin that hangs from the body behind and below the penis, and contains the testicles. The scrotum hangs outside the body because it needs to maintain a slightly lower temperature than the body to maintain sperm production. If it’s too cold, the scrotum will pull the testes closer to the body, if it’s warm, the testes will hang lower down. The testicles (testes for short) are two oval-shaped glands that produce sperm cells and the hormones testosterone, progesterone and small amounts of estrogen. Testosterone produced naturally by the testicles and when therapeutically given increases sex drive. 

The role of the penis in sex

The penis, either by being physically stimulated by the penis-owner themselves or by another person, is often the primary way that penis-owners initiate orgasms. In penis-owners, orgasm is a physiological release of neuromuscular tension paired with a tremendous feeling of pleasure and euphoria. Having an orgasm is not the same as ejaculating, although they often occur at the same time. Ejaculation is the pulsing contraction of the pelvic/penile muscles to emit semen from the body. Penis-owners usually ejaculate when they reach orgasm. Some penis-owners feel an orgasm right before they ejaculate and others feel it when they begin to ejaculate. Some penis-owners can orgasm without ejaculation (dry orgasm) or ejaculate without having an orgasm (ejaculatory anhedonia). Semen retention is an ejaculatory control practice that some penis-owners learn for the purpose of experiencing multiple orgasms in a single sexual experience. 

Semen retention should not be confused with delayed ejaculation, a condition where it takes an extended period of sexual stimulation for a penis-owner to climax and ejaculate. Some penis-owners with this condition are unable to ejaculate at all. Some other common penile conditions are erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Erectile dysfunction is the inability to have or maintain an erection and premature ejaculation is when a penis-owner usually comes in less than a minute, has little if any control, and feels distress as a result. These conditions should not be ignored as there are many treatments to explore with the guidance of a health professional. If you are someone who suffers from one of these conditions, remember that there are many ways to be a great lover. Our society puts a lot of pressure on penis-owners to be able to get hard, stay hard, and cum reliably but sex does not have to be so dick centered. 

According to a study of over 15,000 men, the average non-erect penis is 3.6 inches in length and the average length of an erect penis is 5.16 inches. One of the myths about penis length is that most vulva-owners prefer a larger than average size penis during intercourse. Penis size is only one factor in how penis-owners and their partners experience partnered sex. Research on sexual satisfaction has shown that the more important factor for sexual satisfaction is psychological connection and how you relate to your partner(s). Regardless, if you feel your penis is too small, you can try experimenting with sex toys to extend it (see Calexotics Penis Extender). Alternatively, if you feel as though your penis is too big, you can refrain from full penetration during intercourse (only part of the shaft) or you can use the OhNut to help you with shallow penetration. 

Penis pleasure techniques 

Here is a non-exhaustive list of penis pleasure techniques to explore, from the perspective of a pleasure giver. With all of these techniques, be sure to communicate with your sexual partner about which feels best to them as too much pressure of friction can feel uncomfortable and everyone experiences pleasure differently. 

• On an uncircumcised penis, try stimulating the foreskin with the tongue and lips. As the penis becomes erect, the foreskin usually pulls back and is harder to stimulate directly, but it can feel great to move it up and down. 
• Tighten the foreskin by pulling it taut around the base of the penis. This can cause the penis-owner to feel more sensation when their penis is stimulated. 
• Stimulate the head of the penis with your well-lubricated hands, stroking and rubbing gently. You can also use your mouth by kissing the head, grazing the lips across it, and gently sucking. 
• The frenulum is the most sensitive part of the penis for many, and it can feel great to lick and gently suck this area during oral sex. 
• The shaft of a penis usually needs firmer pressure compared to the glans. Wrap your well lubricated hand around the penis, use firm pressure and twist it up and down as though you were following a red stripe on a barber’s pole. You can try a similar motion with your head during oral by slightly turning your head. 
• During oral sex, you can stimulate the whole penis by using your mouth on the head of the penis and the hand on the shaft on the penis.
• Some penis-owners enjoy vibration stimulation. You can use a vibrator against the shaft of the penis, on the head or on the frenulum.

Written by Natalia Jaczkowski