The Art of Edging

Author: Natalia Jaczkowski

What is edging?

Edging is the practice of stretching out how long it takes to reach an orgasm during sex. This is achieved by slowly building up a person’s arousal and controlling their response by pausing or reducing sexual stimulation when they are close to orgasm. Control can be achieved through physical touch or mental techniques, such as distraction or breathing exercises. The cycle of building and reducing sexual tension is repeated multiple times before allowing release. An edging session can last anywhere from 15 minutes, to an hour, to a few hours, to even longer. Anyone can enjoy edging as part of a solo sex or partnered sex experience. Edging is also sometimes referred to as surfing, peaking, teasing or orgasm control. 

Why are people into edging?

Exploring edging can be a fun way to add some variety to your sex life by allowing you to play with suspense and heightened anticipation. Many people report that edging enhances the intensity of an eventual orgasm. The repeated build up and reduction of sexual tension can amplify sensations and result in a more powerful climax when finally allowed. However, the experience of edging can vary from person to person and not everyone finds it pleasurable. In fact, pausing stimulation right before climax might lead to a loss of arousal entirely for some individuals. Because effective edging requires strong communication, some people find that they are able to establish a deeper connection with their partner(s) through this practice. For those who are into BDSM, edging can be used as a tool of control in dominant and submission play. 

Is edging the same as orgasm denial?

Though edging and orgasm denial share some similarities, they are different practices. Orgasm denial is a fetish or kink involving deliberately denying climax. Instead of following the regular sexual response cycle (excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution), the last two stages are denied. In edging, the last two stages are eventually experienced, but the person will percolate over and over between the excitement and plateau phases before reaching orgasm and resolution. Despite the fact that they don't climax, people who enjoy orgasm denial fetish/kink do get to experience a different kind of sexual pleasure that may be even more satisfying to them. 

What is the connection between edging and erectile dysfunction?

Some people believe that the practice of edging can help manage the issue of premature ejaculation that some penis-owners face. By learning to intentionally delay climax, a penis owner may be able to improve their sexual stamina to prolong sexual experiences, which in turn can help to close the orgasm gap in cis-heterosexual relationships. However, there are some potential concerns with prolonged edging sessions. Some medical experts suggest that excessively frequent periods of sexual arousal without release could impact the blood flow and neurochemical balance involved in maintaining healthy erectile function, leading to temporary difficulties in achieving or sustaining erections. When exploring edging, it’s important to remember that everyone’s body is different, and edging may not be healthy for everyone. 

How to explore edging:

Edging can involve hands, mouths, toys, penetration, and all sorts of positions or stimulation techniques! You can edge as part of solo play, partnered play, and even group play. The key is to be able to identify when climax is nearing so that you know when to slow down or stop sexual stimulation, at which point you can wait a few seconds to allow for the sensation to subside before starting up again. You may wish to take a few deep breaths before starting the next cycle of stimulation, or to use sensual touch or massage to calm the body down.  If you are experimenting with edging for the first time, start with just a few edging cycles before working your way up to more.

Being able to edge effectively as part of partnered play requires strong communication skills. The person doing the edging may want to check in with their partner as they are building their arousal and asking them how turned on they are (for example, by using a scale or descriptors). If you are the one being edged, use your words to communicate to your partner when you are nearing orgasm (“I’m so close!”). If your communication skills during sex are not the strongest, it may be helpful to establish a word or a gesture to use to signal to your partner(s) when climax is fast approaching. Communicating during the practice of edging also means sharing negative feelings if they come up so that your partner is able to respect your boundaries and take a break or stop if needed.

Before delving into edging, be mindful during other sexual experiences and take notice of how your partner responds to various different types of sexual stimuli, especially in the moments when they tip over into orgasm. Reading your partner’s reactions accurately requires fostering a trusting environment where they can feel comfortable in authentically expressing their pleasure.

Examples of edging techniques:

A common way that penis-owners edge is by squeezing the glans of the penis (otherwise known as the head) just before climax. If you’re a vulva owner - you can do a variation of this method by squeezing the head of the clitoris or applying pressure in the clitoral area. Some penis-owners use other methods such as stroking or twisting type motions to reduce arousal. Here are some other techniques:

Diversion method: This is essentially diverting attention from the sexual stimulation that is bringing someone close to climax. For example, if your partner is performing oral sex on you, they may transfer their mouth to another erogenous zone of your body when you are on the edge of orgasm and lick, suck, and kiss in that area to bring attention to it instead.  Another way to divert attention is by switching up the sex position or switching stimulation techniques (e.g., from penetrative sex to touch, or from oral to using a toy).

Start-stop method: This is removing all stimulation for a short period of time (e.g., 30 seconds) before starting back up again. You can focus on breathing deeply when stimulation is stopped to calm the body.

Ballooning method: This method incorporates kegel exercises, which are intended to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. As you back off from orgasm, you perform kegels and allow your arousal to subside before repeating stimulation. 

Mastering edging may take some trial and error. Have fun exploring different rhythms, techniques, and positions to see what works best for you!