What is Pegging?

Pegging is a sex act that often involves a cis woman donning a strap-on to penetrate their partner, who is often (but not always) a cis man. The neologism "pegging" was coined in 2001 by sex columnist Dan Savage; since then, the term has widened its definition to include anyone enjoying backdoor action and utilizing a strap-on rather than a body part.

Although the lexicon "pegging" is relatively new, ass play is not a new phenomenon for any gender or sexual identity. Your booty-hole is full of delish nerve endings, and you can explore your backdoor whether or not your partner has the anatomical parts to penetrate you.

Pegging is an opportunity for you and your partner(s) to explore new realms of pleasure together and involves a lot of trust, genuine intimacy, and communication. Bullshit social and sexual scripts have taught heterosexual cis-men to be dominant penetrators, often leaving little space to explore the spectrum of sexuality, sensuality, and eroticism available to everyone.

Why does pegging feel good?

Most penis owners have a prostate gland that is a sensitive pleasure point packed with nerve endings. When the dildo massages the prostate gland, it can lead to a full-body prostate orgasm that is very intense. Although even without stimulating the prostate, the anus and rectum are full of sensitive nerve endings, anal penetration can still feel good without addressing the prostate.

Learn How to Give a Prostate Massage

Does the pegger experience pleasure?

Absolutely! The person pegging can also experience sexual pleasure; first, it is so fucking hot to give your partner pleasure; second, the person's clit or pubic mound can rub up against the dildo base while they trust. Plus, strapless strap-ons are popular for peggers with vaginas to increase pleasure.

How do I tell my partner I want to try pegging?

Due to shame and fear of judgment, many cis-gendered men are already exploring butt stuff on their own and sometimes secretly from their cis-gendered partners. Because of heteronormative gender coding, for some, being penetrated can evoke a form of gender play that can be a bit of a mindfuck to their sense of identity and sexuality. Playing with your ass doesn't determine your sexuality, so let's just put that to rest.

It may feel intimating or scary to bring up something new to your partner but remember that you are proposing something for you to share as a couple. Be sure the setting and context are appropriate; bring it up when feeling good and relaxed. Maybe on a walk, during pillow talk, or even during dinner. You can say, "I want to share a fantasy with you; I think it would be hot if we tried pegging- what do you think?", keeping your tone open and non-judgemental. If you prefer, you can always opt to say you came across an article, podcast, or porn with pegging, and now you are interested. Ask them their thoughts; no matter their opinion, you should feel safe and secure to share your honest feelings about pegging and why you want to try it. As mentioned earlier, everyone participating should approach pegging with enthusiastic consent – butt play isn't for everyone, and that's ok too!

Why does pegging feel good?!

Prostate Orgasm: experiencing the fullness and the stretch of receiving the dildo, pus the rhythmic pressure massaging the prostate can lead to intense (and sometimes multiple) full body orgasms.

Role reversal: Culturally, men are considered the 'active' and 'dominant' sexual partners. While gender roles are total crap, we can't deny that they exist in society, so subverting gender roles can be an erotic experience for many people.

Emotionally satisfying: Because pegging involves transparent, open, and honest communication, it provides an opportunity for profound and genuine intimacy. Men often occupy the role of being the 'dominant,' whereas, with pegging, they can enjoy a different sexual dynamic.

There are so many reasons someone can be into pegging. So it is essential to have conversations to understand your partner's pegging fantasies, and you should both be excited to try it. The pegger and peggee are equal participants in the conversation, and both are fully and enthusiastically consenting.  

What do I need for pegging?

Harness: As the pegger, you get to choose from various harnesses. Harnesses range in style from boy shorts to lingerie with a garter belt or an adjustable strap-on harness.

A strap-on kit like Adore U Duo Vibrating Harness and Dildo Kit is excellent because it has everything you need to get started at an affordable price.

If you prefer a harness that looks more like a piece of lingerie, try Strap-on-me Rebel Harness

 If you are ready to invest in a quality harness that will last you a long time, you definitely want to check out SpareParts Joque Double Strap Harness Versatile Design. Joque harness is adjustable in all the right places, has no metal parts, and is easy to wash and maintain.

For people with vaginas, a strapless strap-on can give extra pleasure! However, I still recommend using these dildos with a harness to help keep the dildo steady while you're thrusting.

2. Dildo: If you are new to ass, look for a small silicone dildo and work your way up in size. If prostate stimulation is your goal, choose a curve dildo.

3. Lube! Use lots of lube, then more. When choosing a lube for butt stuff, you need to consider the material of the sex toy you are using. Silicone dildos are incompatible with silicone lubricants, so use a thicker water-based like Sutil Rich. A silicone lubricant is fantastic if you are not using a silicone toy. Have you ever heard about a lube launcher? These are an excellent tool to boost moisture, fill up the lube launcher, and insert and release into the booty. Lube Launchers are narrow injectors and lubricate hard-to-reach places. Read more about choosing lube here!

Pegging #Protips!

Explore different positions

How do I clean back there?

Cleanliness is essential since feces contain bacteria. So empty your bowels before you begin and shower or bidet. Your bootyhole is sensitive so avoid using scented or harsh soaps around and in the anus. Some people opt to use a douche- a device that introduces a stream of water into your bootyhole to clean it out. If you opt for a douche, just don't overdo it because your gut contains many good bacteria that help maintain health. So excessive douching can actually flush away those good bacteria.

Clean your sex toys! Clean your dildos and sex toys with a sex toy cleaner after each use.

Discuss your pegging experience afterward

You should check in regularly with your partner during pegging, and it is also important to chat about the experience afterward. For example, what did you like about the experience? What do you want to try more or less? What did you not like as much?

I hope you are all feeling harnessed with the tools and information necessary to begin your journey. Until next time xoxo

Minx