Booty Call: Booty Blaster Review

Find the Booty Blaster instore today!

By: Nyx

Confession time: I like my butt. I like its shape, its feel, the way it looks in jeans and sexy underwear. I like when people touch it, squeeze it, spank it, you name it. It then goes without saying that I'm an anal connoisseur, right? Wrong.

The only time I've ever had anal sex was over ten years ago, and it went about as well as you can imagine when my sexual partner decided to switch from vaginal sex to anal without preparing me, or so much as telling me. For any poor delusional souls out there who think this is a good idea, or thinks that vaginal secretions are sufficient lubrication to achieve this: IT IS NOT. DON'T DO IT. JUST DON'T.

Suffice it to say, I have been a bit reluctant to repeat the experience of sticking things up my heiny. But curiosity got the best of me and I decided to try again, and do it right this time. I read and researched as much as I could, and then, emboldened by how pleasurable it appeared to be for some people, I went for it.

I don't know about you, but when I think about rectums, I think about poop. It's just science. So of course, most of my search history concerning anal sex reads like a toddler's dinnertime conversation. "If you put something in there, will there be poop on it? Does it smell funny? What do you do if there's poop on your toy? How do you get your toys rid of poo smell? Is it necessary to burn them? Will I ever be clean again if I touch poop with my bare hands?" Poop. Poop, poop, POOP.

So of course, to begin this journey in the most sanitary way possible, I decided to start with an anal douche. I looked on the Wicked Wanda's website for the least intimidating one, then went in-store to purchase it. It was sold out. The only one in stock that day was the Booty Call Booty Blaster by California Exotic Novelties. Despite its claim to being a "body-safe, hygienically superior cleaning system", I was a bit put off by the size. I would not be deterred from my quest, however, so I soldiered on.

It stayed in the package, in the bag, in the least visible corner of my room, for almost two weeks. I was not so much ignoring it as finding reasons not to use it. My roommates were home. I'd had something weird to eat that day. I wasn't in the mood. I was too tired. Every drawer in the house suddenly needed urgent reorganizing. But duty (doodie, ha!) called, and I sacrificed myself for the greater good to bring you this review.

It's great. Honestly. It is made of two pieces that easily come apart for filling with lukewarm water and then thorough washing. The comma shape gives a nice reaching advantage when you're squatting over the toilet (graceful, I know). I used lube, so much lube, took a few breaths, relaxed, and the tip of the spout ever so gently glided into place. The long "neck" gives the option of inserting as much or as little as you want, so I gave it a few gos, varying in depths as I went. Three times was a charm, and aside from some very unattractive noises and a bit of water splashing on the toilet seat, it was easy as pie and more importantly, completely painless. No discomfort even for a total newbie, no fuss, no mess, and super easy to clean. Made of silicone so you can clean it with soap and water. It went so well I even went ahead and tried out Phase One of an anal starter kit! I thought it would be a shame to waste a freshly douched tushie, and was feeling this "new experiences" thing. Turns out, it's no biggie. I even waxed my mustache while wearing a butt plug. I lead a charmed life, clearly.

Final verdict: it's honestly, seriously, totally, completely NOT a big deal. Don't let its appearance fool you, the Booty Blaster is as great for pristine, virginal behinds as it is for ones who've seen their share of rodeos. It's super easy to use, a great price point for a silicone toy, and if you're looking to add butt stuff to your sex life, pretty much a necessity. I'd go so far as to say that I'm glad I purchased this one, because I'd probably would have had to upgrade from a smaller pear-like one with a shorter nozzle somewhere down the line. Bottoms up!

 By: Nyx

Find the Booty Blaster instore today!